Hazel's 1 month update || Baby diaries

One week old

Our baby girl has grown and developed so much in just one month it's crazy. We have noticed changes in her size, demands and personality every week.

When she was born, she had a low birth weight and so our main goal in the first few weeks has been to fatten her up as much as we can, which she has done really well at. Putting on weight every week since birth (most newborns lose weight in their first week) Her cheeks have started to fill out and so has the rest of her. At one month old she weighs 3.8kg which is almost a whole kilo more than her birth weight. Although she is still only tracking along the 25th percentile for weight. She is getting exclusively fed breast milk, either straight from the source or expressed and fed by bottle.

Hazel was born measuring a petite 47cm long, but she has been growing like a champ and is now 52cm (50th percentile)

Her eyes were dark and steel blue-grey when she was born but they are now lightening to light blue near the pupil and dark blue at the edges of her iris.

One week old

10 days old

10 days old

Three weeks old

Three weeks old

She started smiling at four weeks old which always makes my heart flutter and brings a huge smile to my own face. She likes to coo and gurgle after a feed and especially while getting her nappy changed. Hazel now studies our faces while we hold her and moves her head to follow us if one of us walks past. She has very expressive eyebrows and often has us laughing at her funny expressions.


Just as her skin was getting over being so dry and flakey she started to get "baby acne" or hormone spots at three weeks, becoming worse over the next week or so. This was caused by residual hormones from birth and my breast milk but they didn't seem to worry her. At one month old thankfully they are starting to clear up.

Four weeks old

We have been giving her lots more "tummy time" while she has been awake after feeding and she really likes it. I get lots of smiles and coo's while she bobs her head up and down. Which is no easy feat considering her head is measuring in the 98th percentile, that's a lot of weight to hold up.

5 weeks old

She has slept like a champ from the get-go, getting 3-5hours sleep at a time. This is wonderful at night time as we only need to wake once or twice during the middle of the night to feed her most time. I normally feed her at approximately 10pm before we go to bed, 2-3am for her middle of the night feed and then again at 6-7am before Chris goes to work. We have not put her on a sleep or feeding schedule, this is just how it normally works out and is purely determined by her.

So far she has been a lovely and easy baby, which is fortunate considering neither Chris or I had any experience with newborns prior. Once her Dad and I started to figure out her needs and signals we have all been doing really well and can't wait to watch her grow and develop.

 

One month stats:

Height: 52cm

Weight: 3.8kg

Sleeping: 4-5 hours (Day and Night)

Eating/Feeding: 120ml or more

Sizes: Newborn 0000

Milestones: Focusing on faces, getting better at latching, first smiles and gurgles

Nicknames: Darling, Honey Bee, Sweet Pea, Bobble head, Poppet.

Adjusting to motherhood | The first 4 weeks || Baby Diaries

This past month has been a kaleidoscope of emotions. On one hand, I have felt more love than ever before, both for my new born daughter and for my husband, and on the other, there has been more fear, anxiety, exhaustion and a few tears. Where on the odd occasion I have held my baby in my arms as I cried out of frustration. It's funny how time works as the last month has felt both long and short. Each day has felt long, as I have waited for bed time or Chris to come home from work, but the month itself has gone quickly when I look back.

Week 1

The first few days while we were still in hospital was such an intense learning curve. I knew a fair bit about babies in theory before having one of my own, whilst not having actually handled any so new. The hospital midwives were excellent and taught me so many lessons and techniques and corrected wrong assumptions I had picked up along the way. It was a blur of day-time naps, hand expressing, soothing, changing and very occasionally getting a moment to reflect on it all, and on how much things can change in an instant.

After four days we brought her home which was so incredibly intimidating. I had become comfortable with looking after her, while knowing that knowledgeable and friendly support was at hand 24/7, but now it was all down to us. We tried to put the structure and systems we had learned in the hospital into place in our home straight away, as we knew these things worked. We settled into a routine and Chris slowly adapted to sleeping in the same room with a wriggly, snuffling, snoring newborn. He ended up opting for an eye mask and ear plugs, while I would check on her after every little noise to make sure all was a-okay. We made a feeding/changing/pumping diary to track her schedules since every time we saw a midwife or doctor they instantly asked how many wet/dirty nappies or feeds she had had, and on only a few hours sleep that sort of information disappears into thin air unless it is written down. She put on weight in her first week and was up to 3kgs at her first weigh-in.

Coming home gave me a good dose of anxiety, where I was so paranoid about breaking her, or SIDS that I couldn't relax enough to enjoy the journey most of the time. Although there were moments when she was sleeping safely in one of our arms that I could soak it all in and I could have looked at her and snuggled all day.

Week 2

We felt like we were getting the hang of things early on in week two, breast feeding was starting to get easier and we weren't startling at every noise she made while sleeping. Until she started spitting up, coughing, grunting and on occasion power chucking on us or the wall next to her bassinet. We ended up taking her to the doctors to get check-up just in case. He checked her and confirmed that she was a perfectly happy and healthy baby, but was having a hard time keeping her food in her tummy while lying flat. So we inclined her bassinet mattress a small amount and tried our very best not to "over feed" her. Which is a hard task when she is demanding way more food than her little body can handle. With these small adjustments she started sleeping much more soundly, with less sound effects. She is regularly sleeping 4 -5 hours during the day and night which I hear is not the case for most newborns. Our record for feeding, burping, changing and settling her is 45mins but it can often take 1-2 hours due to her being so alert after her long nap. Motherhood is sometimes a funny paradox. As when she is awake and content after her feed I'm hyper aware that she needs her sleep and I try anything to get her there, while shortly after we lay her down in her bassinet I start missing her and look forward to our next cuddle.

Her skin is still a bit dry and flakey from being in the womb for longer than necessary (41 weeks), but we are putting coconut oil on her at change times and it seems to be getting better. We also cut her finger nails as she was scratching us and herself with those sharp talons. This was nerve wracking for me, so we waiting until she was blissed-out on on milk and while I held her, Chris did the tricky task of cutting those little suckers which she didn't notice one bit (good job Dad). She continued to put on weight in her second week, weighing 3.2kgs at her second weigh-in, having put on 340g since birth.

We went on her first "outing" to the park down the road and to get some food items from the local shop. She slept the whole time. This was about the extent of what my new-mummy nerves could handle and I was exhausted by the time we got home, but it was a good test to see how our new capsule-stroller works and the things we might need when heading outside in future.

So far I have not had any "baby blues". Yes, I have had a little cry here and there out of frustration at not being able to feed her fast enough or get her to sleep, but this has been fleeting. I think a big reason for my good emotional state is because I have felt so supported by Chris during this changing time in our lives. He is very supportive and complementary of my mothering and efforts, and I feel it makes a world of difference to my out-look. Speaking of Chris's efforts it has surprised me how much more I appreciate him now (not that I didn't before), but seeing him look after and love our daughter adds a whole new level to the love I feel for him. I get butterflies and sometimes teary eyes seeing him interact with her. He is an amazing Father.

Week 3

Chris had a car event this weekend and went back to work this week, which was hard and scary for me to be alone with a newborn baby, but also hard for him to be away from us. Fortunately once she is asleep I can get a lot done in 4 hours so we have been managing okay, but I am still too concerned about her well-being to shower while I am alone and have not managed to take her outside myself yet but that is mainly due to my own paranoid and mind-set, but it does sometimes feel like something always gets in the way.

We have been "mixed-feeding" where I have been expressing breast milk to feed from a bottle as well as breast feeding. I use a nipple shield and have been trying to introduce the breast more at every feed, as I can now stand to feed for longer and she has a better latch. Although now that she is used to the speed at with my expressed milk comes out of the bottle, when she is really hungry she will sometimes get frustrated at the boob and pull away crying, so we are trying to figure that part out. It's a process but we will get there in time. She continued to put on another 250 grams this week. Which makes me a very happy mummy.

Week 4

We are starting to get the hang of this breast feeding business. She is latching well and I can manage to feed for for 15-20mins stretches on each boob before it gets too sore (no cracked nipples yet). We had a lactation consultation where she suggested some minor adjustments and our plans for the future, to wean us off the pump and nipple shield gradually as she gets bigger.

Hazel still sleeps for 4-5hours most stretches but has been getting a sore tummy (lots of gas) which can make her hard to settle. She has also become accustomed to falling asleep while we are holding her (as we like to get all the cuddles we can get) so we are trying to break this habit and have her fall asleep more often in her bassinet. She is doing quite well at this, although sometimes it takes a few goes. As new parents, we are getting better at recognising her "tired signs" rather than just cooing at her cute little expressions. This means we can put her down to sleep easier before she becomes over-tired. Which is the only times I have been in tears with her, after missing these signs, having her become over stimulated and over-tired and trying to get her to sleep for 2 hours and not knowing how to fix it.

She is eating way more this week, she will often spend 10-15mins on each boob and then takes another 100mls from the bottle. I know my milk flow is quite fast so I imagine she is getting quite a bit from me.

She is focusing on our faces more and is very alert. Her eyes are lightening and look like they are  turning a shade of blue. They have lightened the most near the pupil but we will have to wait and see if that continues. It's also hard to get a good photo to reflect these changes. Her dry skin is mostly gone but it has now been replaced with "baby acne" which has started appearing on her cheeks and forehead. This is not a major concern and doesn't bother her, it should fade over the next few weeks.

This month has been full of changes which is why I wanted to break it down into development over the weeks. Her weight, eating and sleeping have all been getting progressively better and her little face and expressions is constantly changing. 

Since birth she has put on a substantial amount of weight every week but we haven't measured her length yet. As that will happen at her 6 weeks Plunket appointment. She has grown into fitting her "Newborn 0000" clothes really well.

Postpartum Update

My recovery is going really well in my option. My uterus contractions are not hurting me anymore, but my stomach is still shrinking. I was getting some strong aches and pains as it contracted in the first couple of weeks, so I'm pleased that has ended. My stitches have healed and so using the bathroom again like normal, although I am still bleeding, it's nothing more than a normal light period. My mood is very stable. I think any emotional days that I do have are determined by the lack of sleep I get the night before as opposed to hormones. The majority of the time I feel back to my normal self and am looking forward to becoming more active in another week or two.

Pregnancy diaries || Postpartum Recovery and Breastfeeding

Postpartum Recovery

I spent four days recovering in hospital after the birth. We had a lot to learn about caring for our newborn as well as allowing me to heal and monitoring me after my significant blood loss. They also did a few tests on her due to her low birth weight. The hospital midwives were amazing and taught us all the things we needed to keep her happy and healthy.

Tearing

As I mentioned in my Labour and Delivery post. I suffered from second degree tears during the birth. Fortunately these were internal tears and so were not as easily disturbed as if they were on the outer parts. I did have some fear when it came using the toilet, so for the first three days after, I would only urinate while in the shower, using the shower head to dilute the urine and make it sting less. Fortunately the hospital also supplied me with plenty of "Ural" which is a drink additive powder that makes your water fizzy and neutralizes the acid in your urine making it less painful to pass.
Using "padsicles" (a.k.a Maternity pads which have been dampened and put in the freezer) also took away the inflammation from the area.

Sleep

Sleeping is something I still haven't quite figured out. The first night after birth I did not sleep a wink, instead opting to wait until Chris's return the next morning to relax and get a few hours shut-eye here and there. The overnight hospital midwives are well aware that new mums have difficulty relaxing enough to sleep so they offered to look after or soothe my newborn for an hour or so, allowing me to know she was well looked after and put my mind at ease for a wee while. It's a bit different when you leave hospital as you have the same concerns yet a fraction of the help and advice but we are figuring it out.

Uterus Contractions

After giving birth your tummy does not instantly shrink back to it's pre-pregnancy size, or even pre-pregnancy plus a few extra kilos. Most women find they still look 5-6months pregnant for a while after giving birth as their uterus is still enlarged. When breastfeeding or expressing I could feel my uterus contract a little bit each time. Sometimes they were barely noticeable, other times it hurt quite a bit. This continued for a few weeks following the birth at varying degrees becoming less noticeable as time went on. This is what causes a lot of the bleeding following birth, and it can persist for weeks until it has returned to normal. This also allows your body time to rearrange all of the organs that got shunted out of the way by your growing child.

2 days postpartum, having a baby AND a bump

Breast feeding

Breast feeding is another thing that I am still working on. Within the hour after birth, mothers are encouraged to breastfeed their new born babies. I did this through hand expressing. (TMI warning) However, I was at a disadvantage having "flat nipples" as opposed to "erect nipples" which are the ideal for breast feeding attachment. Our daughter would not recognise my nipples for what they are and so would not latch, as their was nothing to touch her upper palate and stimulate her suckling reflex. We continued to hand express my milk bit by bit for each feed in the days following the birth. Keeping in mind that a newborn baby's stomach is the size of a marble and colostrum (the early milk) is thick and nutritious. I had assistance from the hospital midwives who showed me exactly how to get the right technique and would collect together the little droplets produced into a 1ml syringe to give to my baby at her next feed. Over the following days my supply increased to a few milliliters and then again to a few dozen mls, which was when we introduced the breast pump. This increased my supply dramatically and allowed me to get plenty of food into my petite wee girl. I had a few consultations with a lactation consultant who advised that when my daughter gets bigger she will be able to take more of my nipple into her mouth and suck more effectively. We introduced a nipple shield, which is a piece of plastic that suctions onto your nipple, drawing it out into the protrusion, giving your baby something to latch onto. This was not always effective at first but we are starting to get the hang of it at 10 days old, so things are starting to look up. A number of the midwives were very impresses with my milk production. I have actually been producing way more than she can manage at one feed, so we started refrigerating the excess in the hospital and now that I am at home I have started freezing a few bags for later down the track. My intention is to exclusively breastfeed eventually, but whether it comes from a boob or a bottle, fed is always best (and that includes formula for those who choose it).

Pregnancy diaries || Introducing our daughter

Our daughter was born at 7:15pm on Friday 20th July 2018. She weighed 2.860 Kgs (6lb 5oz), measured 47 cm long and had a head circumference of 34.5cm.

For my pregnancy diaries and bump shots with her please click this link or click this link for her birth story (including photos of her just after she was born).

Shortly after she was born we decided on her name. We had been thinking about this name since we found out she was a girl at her anatomy scan at 21 weeks and I couldn't get it out of my head, but we wanted to hold off deciding upon it until we met her.

I wanted to give her a name that would suit her as a baby, as a little girl, a teenager and as an adult. Something that was feminine but not meek. A name that was somewhat unique but people would know how to spell it without asking. A name that would inspire her to be an adventurous, confident and caring person.

We settled on the name, Hazel Maree. Hazel just felt like it suited her and the image I had built of her in my head. There wasn't any memorable moment when I found it and had an "ah-ha" moment, but the name wouldn't go away as we experimented with other options, it was always my favourite. Maree is my middle name as well as my mothers, so she has a little hand-me-down from us too. 

2 days old

3 days old

3 days old

3 days old

Bringing her home at 4 days old

7 days old - mid burping session

7 days old

7 days old

She currently has dark blue/gray eyes which are beginning to lighten. Her father has blue eyes and mine are hazel brown so she could get either of those or somewhere in the middle. Her hair is a light brown which glows blonde in the sunlight. We think she currently looks a lot more like me than her father but there is definitely some of him in her too. We think she will have a nose similar to mine as well as my long fingers. There might even be a hitch-hikers thumb developing too but we will have to wait and see.

All-in-all we love her to pieces and think that she is absolutely gorgeous (not that we are biased or anything).

She is quite a contented newborn who loves to feed and has a good strong suck. She can sleep solidly for 5 hours and is quite happy to settle back into sleep if she wakes herself up mid-way through. She likes to be swaddled while also having access to her hands. She is very alert and our biggest trouble is getting her back to sleep after changing her, as she would quite happily just stare up at our faces all night.

Pregnancy diaries || Labour and Delivery

To see more about my pregnancy journey follow this link
To read more about the reasons why I needed an induction follow this link

For obvious reasons this post contains a TMI warning (Too Much Information) if you don't want to know very personal details about my birth story please read with caution.

We both woke up at around 5:30am super hyped that today could be the day we become parents. Last minute items were packed into the car, a good solid breakfast of eggs on toast was enjoyed. Winter woollies were donned and we were in the car on our way to Waitakere Hospital by 7:30am.

We arrived at the hospital by 8:00am and they hooked me up to a CTG to monitor baby's heartbeat, movements and my contractions. Then inserted a wrist IV for those "just in case" moments. Vitals were taken and the hospital midwife was happy with the monitoring of baby's heartbeat and movements. She inspected my cervix, and told me I was only 1.5cm dilated and gave me two doses of hormone prostaglandin gel to ripen my cervix, begin my induction and bring on more contractions. I was already having contractions prior to this, they were just mild.

Shortly after, we discovered an unexpected symptom of my induction was that my body did not want to keep food down, as soon as my body started responding to the gel and getting more forceful contractions I suddenly started feeling very nauseous. Which lead to Chris running around frantically looking for something for me to hurl into and a reusable shopping bag was deemed the best option-to-hand with not a moment to spare. This reaction meant that I needed to stay attached to the monitor for longer to check on baby.

By 10:00am I was disconnected from the monitor and allowed free roam of the hospital. We went and sat in the morning sun in the garden next to our room and took a walk around the maternity wing.
An hour and a half later contractions were certainly picking up but were still manageable.

I had a small lunch, that decided to reappear as we were walking through the hospital garden. So with little to no warning I threw up for a second time, straight into the garden, after another strong contraction. We covered it up with leaves and slunk quietly away. Sorry. After this the midwife gave me some medicine to reduce my nausea, although I did sick-up again later on after eating a few mouthfuls of banana. I guess my body just had other ideas.

After lunch my contractions were getting way worse. I was still periodically getting fetal monitoring to check baby's heartbeat and it was interesting to see the rise and fall of my ever increasing contractions. Chris found the monitoring helpful to know when I would be in pain but it sucked that I had to lay down on the bed, as that was the most uncomfortable position to be in.

I found distraction was my best ally, so as a strong contraction was coming on, I started touching my thumb to each of my fingers quickly and scratching at the coarse hospital pillows right next to my ear, as I could not get into a comfortable position and writhing was not compatible with the fetal monitoring. Adding tactile movement and loud noise was a way to distract my brain from the pain.

A few of my friends have asked what contractions really feel like. So the way I can best describe what I was feeling, and everyone can feel them differently, is that the "false labour" or braxton-hicks contractions I was having pre-labour a few weeks back would start as an ache in my lower back and gradually wrap around my sides towards my belly button. I would feel my bump get firm and baby would brace against it on the inside. As soon as the BH contraction was over, she would become very active again. These were like medium strength period pains and could be eased with a hot water bottle. The contractions I was feeling during active-labour were much the same but very centered on my lower back and their was no comfortable position or way around them, you just needed to endure them until that particular contraction finished. Distraction is key, and I did find that having Chris rub my lower back quite firmly was a good distraction and got me through until the end, which once it was over I was completely fine and could talk and joke around just like normal.

I got checked at around 4:30pm and was told that I was in active labour, which was much sooner than the hospital midwife was expecting. As it can sometimes take up to three days to achieve that progress. At this point I asked if I could get some "gas and air" just in case it gets too much and my nurse told me that I was doing great and wouldn't need it. Ummm, ok sure. I had my waters broken at 5:00pm, which was far less dramatic than I had expected as only a small amount came out, and was then moved into the delivery suite half an hour later.

The LMC midwife I have been seeing during my pregnancy then arrived and started prepping the room for the main event and coaching me through my contractions.

I found that standing while leaning over the bed was my only some-what comfortable position at this point.  Every time I could feel a contraction coming I would call out to Chris to run over and forcibly rub my lower back for its duration. Still no pain meds as I really wanted a pool birth. Pacing around the room, or sitting on a tall stool were the only things I wanted to do. My waters released bit by bit as I would move from a seated to standing position between contractions, but there was no big "gush" like in the movies.

As baby girl worked her way into my birth canal I actually found the contractions reduced their concentration in my lower back, and so briefly found them more manageable. This didn't last long however as quite soon my body felt the need to push. My midwife checked my dilation and I was only at 8cm, she was able to move my cervix to 9cm but told me that I had to pant my breath whenever I felt the need to push as I wasn't quite ready. I was still asking to go into the birthing pool at this point but it was deemed to late. There had been another birth taking place in the birthing pool next to my room just prior and they were still re-filling it for me to use shortly. However, my body wasn't willing to wait and so we never made it to the pool.

Instead my midwife instructed me to get onto the adjustable bed, we propped the bed up and I was facing backwards on my hands and knees leaning up against the top of the bed. I just barely made it to 10cm dilation before my body fully took control and I could do nothing to stop the urge to push. I was quite bizarre. There was only one occasion where my midwife asked me to do only a "little push" which I did, all the others were completely out of my control. Fortunately our baby had moved into a good birthing position the previous day and so was coming out the correct way. The midwife warned me that I was about to feel the "ring of fire" and I casually joked about no one mentioning anything about Johnny Cash (still no pain medication) and she told me to go as slowly as I could. Baby girl did have the cord loosely wrapped around her neck as she emerged, but my midwife quickly fixed that. Once her head was out all it took was one more push at 7:15pm and the rest of her body came out easily.

Chris who was holding my hand loosely at the front of the bed says that he could see her as she came out and that it was absolutely the most amazing thing to witness. It was at that moment he truly got emotional and exclaimed with me that we had a daughter with tears in his eyes.

(TMI warning) The tender moment was rather short lived as all of a sudden 1.2 Litres of blood gushed out of me and my midwife needed to push the emergency button to summon all of the available midwives in the hospital wing for assistance. I was still over-whelmed by it all and didn't even hear the alarm. So when about half a dozen additional staff were surrounding me getting me to move, putting things in my IV, removing my gown, I just went with it. I was holding my brand new baby girl and as far as I was concerned nothing else really mattered. Sure there was pools of blood all around me but I was quite distant from it all and my midwife stayed calm, so I did too.

Crisis over and cleaned up, I lay back with my daughter on my chest and my legs in the air. We had delayed cord clamping, and Chris cut the cord. She had breast milk which was hand expressed within the first hour. I had saved some delicious dairy-free chocolate which one of my best friends had sent me from Australia for a special moment. This was deemed a good time to finally get some food into me and keep it down (for the first time that day) and I don't recall anything tasting as good as that dark chocolate peppermint creme egg did in that moment.

Our daughter was weighed and measured, her APGAR scores were 9-10/10 and a mere 10 minutes after the birth I was expressing my surprise that it was easier than I had expected. Despite not having the pool birth I had planned or any pain relief or additional intervention. I finally had my daughter in my arms and all was right in the world.

(TMI warning) I had second degree tearing which my midwife was concerned has opened my urethra, but upon further inspection by the obstetrician they decided that it hadn't gone that far and was in fact a very "good" tear (as far as tears go) in that it was only in a single spot but had spread three ways. By-the-way, I have never been told by so many people that I have a "beautiful vagina" (thank you?) that was a bit weird but comforting that I was in good hands. After the bleeding slowed and I was stitched up we got wheeled back to my recovery room for the night, to get some bonding time and hopefully some rest.

Partners are technically not allowed to stay overnight in the shared rooms but they are quite lenient, especially on the first night, so Chris didn't end up leaving until about 1:00am and even that felt too soon.

I didn't sleep a wink that night. As I am a first time mother and every noise she made concerned me, plus I still had a surge of hormones and adrenaline rushing through my body from the birth. She was quite mucousy, as her voyage through the birth canal was rather quick she didn't have time to get thoroughly squished, and so she still had a small amount of liquid and mucous in her lungs. This meant that every now and then she would spit up, or start what seemed like choking on some mucous which meant that I was super paranoid about leaving her to sleep without me watching her like a hawk. After chatting most of the night with the lady sharing a room with me about her birth, family and other personal details, seven o'clock finally rolled around and my knight in shining armour returned to me, to take the reigns and give me some shut eye, knowing that my newborn was safely being cared for.