Introducing my Bridesmaids

These are the best friends, sisters, mothers, or daughters that have been chosen to get you to your big day, to stand beside you physically and emotionally, and witness a changing time in your life.

A lot of work is involved with the planning of a wedding, be it big, small, intimate or extravagant. Each bride-to-be will go through her share ups and downs in the lead up. Many will unknowingly take on tasks well outside their means, and its these women whom they feel they can share their burden.

To share the initial stages of excitement, anticipation and exploring with these women who (hopefully) feel the same way. To advise and confirm wise decisions and expectations (which the groom sometimes cannot relate to). To contribute their time crafting invitations, centrepieces and speeches, and in general to help make their friend's day the best it can be.




In most cases a bride-to-be has already thought about, or decided on, who she would like as her special attendants. After the excitement of the proposal, I suggest to take some time to savour it. You can tell everyone the good news, but wait a little longer until you make your choices. It may seem like a great idea to ask all 10 of your besties to stand up there with you initially, but not so much when it comes to organizing, co-coordinating and paying for everything later down the road.
It's common sense, but ideally you need someone who is supportive of you as a couple. You do not need the devils advocate at every chance, leaving little nuggets of negativity to make you doubt your partner or yourself. It helps if they will be able to focus on you, be compassionate and caring, and not make the day about their drama.
 "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." - Arnold H. Glasow
And just like your husband-to-be, to have someone you know you have a strong foundation with, which will last for many years to come.

But before they can say "Yes!", first they need to be asked.

There are so many new and exciting ways for a bride-to-be to ask her loved ones to take on this honoured role.  Whether its in a card, engraved in jewellery, a hand-written message or poem in a gift box, they deserve to feel privileged and special. (I wish I had come across some of these ideas earlier)

Each bride and bridesmaid will have different expectations of what is required of them in this time. It is best to establish this early on, so that no one is feeling left out or disappointed.

Introducing, My Girls

I couldn't imagine getting married without these two by my side.
They have been a major part of my life for such a long time. Together going through childhood, boyfriends, bad good jokes, good times and hard. It was only fitting that they would be there beside me on my wedding day too.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." - Bernard Meltzer

After Chris proposed I wanted to tell these girls straight away, alas at the time they both lived overseas and in different time zones. Skype came to the rescue later in the weekend and so with much squeals of delight and failed attempts of showing-off the new bling to the little webcam, they both were as excited about their role as I was.

© Ross Herbert Photography

For those who don't have the pleasure of knowing them, the blonde is Tiffany, and the brunette (dark red) is Tammy. Their hair colour difference was a lifesaver for some of the vendors we were working with on the day, it didn't make it easy with both girls names starting with 'T' and ending in 'Y'!

They are both incredible and talented people who I am blessed to call my best friends.
Although they were both overseas (Australia and Japan) for most of the engagement they offered plenty of advice, encouragement and support from afar. I knew they had my best interests at heart and offered many times to do whatever they could from a distance, which made the distance feel less significant.

Tammy is very artistic, and creative. After helping me find my wedding gown, she offered to reproduce (without any prior practice) a lace and pearl hairpiece we had seen. This resulted in an accessory that I was so proud to wear on my wedding day, and to have as a keeps-sake that I will always treasure.
Bringing beauty treatments for the lead-up to the wedding and manicure/pedicures all round the night before. When she arrived in the country for the wedding she took the reins on the centrepiece flower arranging, which turned out better than I could have hoped. Come the wedding day, not only was she an incredible bridesmaid but also did an excellent job on the bridesmaids, my mothers and my makeup. This girl never ceases to amaze me, I have big shoes to fill when she needs me in return.

© Ross Herbert Photography

Tiffany is inspiring, she sees the world like no one else I know (see her blog here). She is soothing when needed and a pick-me-up at ALL other times. Tiffany came back to New Zealand before the wedding and was able to contribute to the planning process. Shoe shopping was involved, as well as organizing my secretive Hen's night with Tammy. She kept me focused, helped me express myself coherently in my wedding speech, and wrote a cracker speech herself. If fate was different and a 'Y' chromosome had been included in her DNA, I imagine she would be somewhat similar to my new husband. I hope they both consider that a compliment!

© Ross Herbert Photography

When we said JUMP, they said......

You hear about Bride-zillas' and Maid-zillas' but we didn't have any issues. All three of us girls have known each other a long time, and were upfront about what we could accomplish. I knew they only wanted to make me happy, and in return I wanted them to enjoy their experience too.

© Ross Herbert Photography

There are always going to be other special friends whom you would have loved to include in this way, but this is not always possible. Instead make sure they know they are also special to you by including them in other parts of your wedding. Such as doing a reading or speech, taking the role of emcee, handing out programmes, involving their children in the bridal party and helping with pre-wedding details.

"Friendship is no big thing......it's a million little things."  (Author Unknown)

© Ross Herbert Photography

Thankfully, no, I didn't require their help to relieve myself throughout the evening - I have heard some horror stories! However, according to the photographs I was incapable of doing up my dress, putting on my own shoes, and attaching my accessories.... but that's as far as the slavery went.

© Ross Herbert Photography

© Ross Herbert Photography

Hints/Tips:

• See here for some good advice about choosing your bridesmaids